The parental education according to conscious parenting, is to create a kind of backpack full of useful tools to face the challenges of everyday life. When you lose patience, what tool do you use? When you try to resolve a conflict, what are you looking for? Authority, or active listening and creative thinking? Having a backpack full of parental tools is essential to transform moments of obstacles into strong learning for everyone involved.
What does Parental Education consist of?
Parental education consists, in a first phase, in realizing that although I spend time with my children, I may not be spending quality time, or in connection with them. In traditional education, although we sometimes do not have this awareness, our focus is on controlling the child , educating a child for success and correcting what does not fit the expectations we have for him. Correct separates, understand connects.
Intervention Areas of Parental Education
The intervention areas of parental education should focus on giving our children, through our example and model, the different skills and tools they need to navigate life. Everything I want to inspire my child to develop, must first exist in me. To teach responsibility, I have to question whether I practice it in my life or whether I take on the responsibilities of others.
The first area of parental intervention is us. We must gently question our beliefs about education, our expectations regarding our children, our triggers implanted in childhood that give rise to stronger reactions in certain situations . Above all, it involves finding our unique voice as parents, and discovering the unique melody that our children are.
How to raise a child?
How to raise a child should be the most common question we ask internally, while focusing all of our attention on behavior . This is the most common of the parental models. We divide children’s behavior into “good” and “bad”, and we exercise unilateral power through discipline. Shame is accidentally used as a motivator for children to change their behavior. In other cases, we use other strategies such as labels, blackmail, praise, punishment or awards.
Behavior is always a way of communicating unmet needs. Changing it without understanding it, only creates greater disconnection between parents and children. And the child’s greater disconnection with himself. So what other way is there to raise a child? The awareness of what goes on inside of us as parents, and an immense curiosity about our children. These are the starting points for a profound change in the quality of the relationship between parents and children.